Self suspicion


“I should be suspicious of what I want.” ~ Rumi

Our wants are becoming vast. The more we have, the more we want. We are tending to forget our needs – but rather go on and dream more and more – all resulting in more wants. The unfortunate thing of our lives is that whatever we want is all from this world. First are material wants – which grows from one to another. Anything material leads only to another. There is no time when we get something which we desperately wanted and that is the end of that want. It is definitely going to lead you to something else. The world also operates in such a way now. Most of the things which we want, satisfy us only temporarily. Those things are also designed in such a way, that they should not give you a permanent satisfaction. They tend to gratify you instantly, but keep you longing for more. This cycle is what this world thrives upon. Second, we want relationships. Some relationships satisfy us for a much longer period, but as we are losing patience – even that period is shrinking. We can only satisfy our want for relationships till a time we can bear with it. As the wants are changing all the time, so does our need for relationships. The more we associate our relationships to our core needs, the less we will hanker for new ones. The last is the wants for your soul. This is what we spend the most insignificant time on. It also happens that the more you satisfy your own soul, the lesser and lesser wants you will see in yourself.

Awareness makes material immaterial and relationships satisfied.

Where does your wants arise from? Typically material wants arise from your mind, relationship wants from your heart and the awareness wants from your soul. We are normally consumed by the mind then by the heart and last by the soul. The minute we are able to associate our wants to these origins, you will start to prioritize. The more deeper we go and start catering to our awareness needs of our soul – the rest of the wants become immaterial. We start to see that our awareness makes you totally at peace and at deepest satisfaction. We have to become suspicious of ourselves. Start questioning – “Why am I like this?”, “Where is this want coming from?”, “Is it really necessary?”. Even if we momentarily give in and get to that want to satisfy our senses or heart, we will not be attached to it. Whether that want is satisfied or not – it would not make any difference to you. The want needs to get suppressed but you are not affected by it. The minute you go to the origins of the want, you will see they start to disappear. They start to become immaterial. You will still have those material and relationships around you – but without any sense of attachment. They will just happen but your soul is at peace. You are enjoying no matter what the want is, because the result is not affecting you.

Go ahead, feel the need for awareness in you. If you get to the awareness, all wants disappear and make you satisfied. Be at bliss, the only way is to get yourself detached. That detachment is going to deliver you of all wants.

A face to fit everyone


To fit inside everyone’s heart , I put on a new face everyday.~Rumi

This pretty much sums up our modern life. We all now have a deep desire to satisfy everyone around us. We want to appear as the do-gooder to even an unknown person. It could be someone whom we just met, or someone with whom we know a possibility of meeting does not exist. Still, we go that very long extra mile to be in that person’s heart.

Here is the thin line.

A need to fit into everyone’s heart is very different from being neutral. 

As we endeavour to be in the good books of everyone, be the nicest person they know of or simply exude the demeanour of a humble person – makes you skew towards one thought or the other. You have to change your ways and means to suit to someone’s expectation. In return, what you end up doing is setting up a high expectation level for that deed or act you just performed. For instance, you are being nice and help someone out of your way on the train – and that person in return does not show his thankfulness or takes you for granted. How do you feel?

The first thing that comes to our mind is that, “at least, he/she could have said “thanks!”, instead he /she just ignored me”. If in this situation we were to make our minds neutral, we would not have that expectation, we would not have thought of anything when that help was rendered. We must learn to stay neutral first.

In other words, learning to please everyone and then trying to be neutral is the most hardest thing to do. Instead, if you compose yourself to be neutral, train yourself to lose yourself from expectations, wash yourself of yourself as Rumi says – then you do not have to try to help anyone. It just becomes the natural you. You do not have to try at all. People would start to see you as a person of utmost empathy, caring for every single soul beyond yourself and that is what we all need to aspire for.